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SUPER BOWL
QUICKIES!!
Peyton Manning, after living a full life,
died and went to heaven. When he got to
heaven, God was showing him around. They
reached a modest little house with a faded
Colts flag in the window. "This house is
yours for eternity, Peyton," God told him.
"This is very special, not everyone gets a
house up here." Peyton felt special
indeed, and walked up to his house.
On his way up the porch, he noticed
another house just around the corner. It
was a three-story mansion with a
black-and-gold sidewalk, a fifty-foot tall
flagpole with an enormous Saints logo
flag, and in every window a New Orleans
Saints towel. Peyton looked at God and
said, "God, I'm not trying to be
ungrateful, but I have a question. I was
an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records,
and I even went to the Hall of Fame."
"So what's your point, Peyton?"
"Well, why does Drew Brees get a better
house than me?"
God chuckled and said, "Peyton, that's not
Drew's house; it's Mine."
WHO DAT?
A Cajun who died went to hell. The devil
assigned him the usual punishment . . .
put him in the mass pit where the heat was
melting others. The devil came back
sometime later, surprised to find the
Cajun just sitting around, not even
misting, much less sweating.
"How come you're not so much as sweating
here where everyone else is screaming for
relief from the heat?"
The Cajun laughed and said, "Man, I was
raised in the bayous of Sout Looziana. Dis
ain't nothin' but May in Morgan City to
me!"
The devil decided to really put the Cajun
through it. He put him in a sealed off
cave in the pit with open blazes and four
extra furnaces blasting. When he came
back, days later, the Cajun was sitting
pretty, had barely begun to bead up with
sweat. The devil was outraged.
"How is this possible!? You should be
melted to a shrieking puddle in these
conditions!"
The Cajun laughed even harder than before.
"Hey, man! I done tole you. I was raised
in Sout Looziana. You tink dis is heat?!
Dis ain't nothin' but August in Cow Island
!"
So the devil thought, "Alright, a little
reverse ought to do the trick," and he put
the Cajun into a corner of hell where no
heat ever reached. It was freezing, and to
add to the Cajun's misery, he added
massive icebergs and blasting frozen air.
When he returned, the Cajun was shivering,
ice hung from every part of him, but he
was grinning like it was Christmas.
Exasperated, the devil asked "HOW!? How is
it possible?! You're impervious to heat
and here you sit in conditions you can't
be used to . . . freezing cold and yet
you're happier than if you were in heaven.
WHY?!"
The Cajun kept grinning and asked, "Don't
dis mean de Saints won dat der Super
Bowl?" |
